one time I overslept and my mom came into my room to wake me up and said “you had better get up or else you’ll be rushing”. I wanted to say “if I’m rushing then so be it” but since I was still half asleep my mind changed “rushing” to “Russian”, I rolled over and said “if I’m Russian, soviet” and to this day it’s the best joke I’ve ever made
Imagine Person A of your OTP needing glasses but is emberrassed by wearing them all the time so they just put them on for reading. Person B catches them with glasses on and is baffled but how well they suit them.
In Person B grabs Person A’s glasses, putting them on asking them how good they look wearing them.
Person A just comments that they can’t see them clearly and that they’d have to move closer and closer until Person B’s close enough to kiss Person A.
shit white people say after sex
- thank you
- thats was good
- is there any gogurts left
- do u think ikea is still open
- Beethoven: ARE YOU READY TO HEAR SOME SYMPHONIES?!
- Audience: *cheers*
- Beethoven: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!